Not Feeling My Best

I am still pleased with the progress. My problem is I keep looking for signs of weight loss on a daily basis. Even when I know this is a marathon and I need to worry about the progress once a week. If I continue to be consistent the weight loss will come. Again....a marathon.

I am getting a little bored with my diet though. I need to give is some variety. I am stuck with the oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast. And, from there it's a Lean Cuisine for lunch and dinner. I venture off into Graham Crackers and Saltines as snacks. And, I eat all of the fruit and veggies I can stand so long as there is no added sugar or oil/fat to veggies.

I am still very surprised that I have been able to last 8 weeks without ice cream or additional sugar period. No sugar drinks....just grapefruit juice and water.

Can I do this forever....no. But, there are some aspects of it that I can hold on to that will help increase my matabolism in the future.
Today was the first day in quite some time that I didn't completely enjoy what I had on. I have to be patient about that. Even my clothes is a gradual process. There is no way to look any smaller than I am . I must continue the process one day at a time.

Comparison

My first look at the difference. Wow, what motivation this is. I was huge. And, no matter how nice I dressed I was still huge. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to do better. Food was my everything. It is what I lived for. Now, I eat food to be healthy.

I needed to do this today. I am glad I found two pics so that depicted this glaring change in my life....in my body. I felt the difference but the two pics side by side tell the story. God is good.I remember this black jacket. I filled it out in the arms. It was tight on me. And, I actually thought I looked good in it. I am no longer a XXL in anything unless I just choose to buy it. Now comes the hard part. And, that is to continue to be consistent and boring. Stay on the right track. Eat healthy. Purchase healthy. And, eat often and small....

I can't wait for another day to see how my body changes.

3.8 LBS Lost

I was sure of the weight loss. I knew going in that I had lost weight. I could feel it. I could see it. I can tell you the people around me who have no will power are now getting jealous. When I first started this journey there was a lot of positive feedback. But, once I said, "Since Feb. 1st, I have lost 32.2 pounds." Their comment was, "Now you are bragging." Well, hell yeah I am bragging. Any weight loss at all is an accomplishment. I use to be on the other side of this saying next Monday is the day....and then next Monday again...and then well, I will start at the first of the year. Now, I have been saying the first of the year since 2004....yes 2004. But, now I have a hold of it. And, I am not letting go. I understand the balance of food, stress, and social eating. They all play apart in my life. I am not one of those who has a matabolism out of this world. I have to accept that and eat what I want in moderation.  But, getting back to my fake support. So be it...just because you choose to be closer to 400 lbs with no signs of turning it around. And, make no mistake, people are happier when their misery has company...............................................................Well, no more compnay. You are on your own.

What's so wonderful is....each day is a new day to attack it and get better....lose more. And, even after 32 lbs....I still have 40 to do to be a respectable size and weight.

All the rest that are not in my corner....keep it moving.

Weigh In Tomorrow

But....today is the smallest I have felt since I started this journey. And, I have realized this is truly a journey. I have thought of all the things that come with being smaller but, I forgot how this is....how tough it is to be consistent. It's tough to stay on track and stay focus. Your only reward late at night when your stomach is growling it knowing that the end of the rainbow is worth and getting closer. The feeling is amazing. I don't hide from mirrors now.


And, the best line I have heard is...."I have gone from have to....to want to." What a difference. I look forward to stuff in my closet. I look forward to shopping. I have gone from a 22 to a 14 and still progressing. 


My face has slimmed tremendously. I have a face. And, I have gone from XXL tees to XL. Thank God for giving me the strength to initiate this journey....to continue....and to realize this is the only way to long term health. Again...what was I thinking before? Amazing!

2.4 lbs

This time I don't really see it. I can feel it in my arms and legs though. And, any weight loss is good. It is better to see that than know for sure your weight going up and feeling it when you put on clothes.


I ate cabbage and shrimp a lot last week. Even though I know it was low in fat it was hard to judge portions. And, when you are hungry, I have found that it is good to have prepared meals on hand when you are hungry. There is less cheating that way. And, it is so much better to know exactly what you had and to know that is your allotted portion at that time. 


I continue to be encouraged. I can continue to see a difference. I continue to make progress in the right direction. I really think this is so cool. My confidence is soaring and look at other women struggling with their weight and wonder when they will make the decision to live healthier. I include a lot of water in my diet now. I had some Vitamin Water today and it seem so sweet. I am now going on 7 weeks with no sweets. None! And, that in itself is a minor miracle. I love chocolate. I love a good cheesecake....and I love sweets. But, those sweets did not love my body.


Wow! What a change I have made....I pray I can persevere and continue down this path. 

3.4 Pounds Lost....

I was definitely surprised at the lost this week and encourage. I didn't think I had a good week. But,  as I continue down this journey I now know consistency is the key. I continue to feel better and different and healthy. No amount of food can replace the healthy me. 

And, important revelation for me. I am glad I am doing the pictorial history. It gives me a chance to see the difference. I made excuses for my look at the higher weight. But, OMG!! What was I thinking. I look younger and feel younger. And, just blogging this and looking at the progress is giving me motivation. Gonna get it tomorrow with some exercise. 

I have to get better with. The problem is I talk myself out of it every time. And, then I have success on the scale....so it's hard to reason with results. But, if I exercise more often just think of the results. 

So proud though. I have changed my eating so drastically. And, I have found there are so many options that I really love to eat that so much better for me. To God be the glory on this one for giving me the strength....

Very Confident....

I loved this look on me today. Made me feel better.

Today was a good day. Still feel good. Need to increase cardio although I have done better than last week.

I wish the people around me would do better about their eating habits but, I am determined to keep doing the right thing, And, at the top of my list is to continue to improve my eating habits. They were atrocious.

I keep saying I am going to reward myself with a treat of some sort for my minor success. But, each week of improvement and additional weight loss just makes me want to continue to lose more and stay on the right path.

I don't have the taste for things like I use to. I don't have those chocolate cravings like I use to. And, it was nothing for me at one point to have a candy bar a day. Or to eat a lot of cookies and a candy bar. And, I would bake a cake and eat a piece or two daily until it was gone.

And, I just realized no french fries for six weeks now. Wow, I love them. But, they don't love me.

And, someone told me if I would just continue to improve upon my diet I could add ten years to my life.  I do know I was tired all of the time. I was putting too much stress on my heart. I was a health risk/mess all in one.

My Update....

I am continuing to improve. I love knowing if I keep up this particular eating pattern the weight continues to fall off. I feel different every day. I see the difference in my clothes. I had given up on having a waist. Oh wow....how powerful it is to write that and to read that.

I tried on jean shorts I couldn't get over my thighs five weeks ago and now they just slide right on. Same thing with a skirt.

I added the belt to a suit yesterday and actually wore it all day.

I AM CHANGING FOR THE BETTER!!!

I am getting attention from people just a few weeks ago who wouldn't turn their head.

My legs look better. I also need new bras. I love the continual transformation back to myself. Powerful statement again.

I now look at people who are my size or bigger and wonder what their thought process is/was? Are they feeling the way I felt. Are they thinking of making a change?

I also ask, "Why did I not take a stand earlier than this?" I didn't for whatever reason. But, it is so cool to do so now. So cool.....

4.4 LBS

Five weeks now. And, a total of 22.8 pounds lost. If you had asked be about that type of lost when I started I would have been ecstatic. But, now that i am in the midst of it....it doesn't seem like much in the overall scheme of things. 


I was definitely pleased with the weight loss. I was thinking around two pounds. I did not exercise again. So, I want to put my focus on that again. I have to do better where that is concern. 


I can tell a difference in the rain coat I wore today. The arms and chest area use to be so tight in the coat. Not anymore. 


Now, I keep saying when I hit this mark or that mark I will treat myself. But, so far sticking to the routine seems to be the most rational thing to do. My regiment is yielding me results. Why should I mess that up for a craving. 


I am without a doubt pleased with myself and the new look that is evolving. 

Powerful....

Like This...

I saw this place setting at William & Sonoma today. What a display. I took a picture because I want this set. What a festive showing it would be for Easter.

Improving....And, Ignoring Mediocrity.....

Yesterday was a good day. I felt good. I healthy and energetic. Just four weeks ago it was tiring to bring grocery in the house. It was a source of dread. Isn't that amazing?!

Things that I felt yesterday....I was proud of myself for sticking to it. And, it was a hard day yesterday because I was off schedule with food. I did not have lunch until 330pm. I was starving....and getting a headache.

On a good note I got plenty of looks.....plenty of stares....lol!. And, there were a few that actually approached. Now, I am flattered. But, I am no fool. I do understand that type of attention is fools gold. But, nonetheless, a far cry from what I was getting.

And, yes, that's important to a real woman. One who is paying attention to all of her personal grooming. And, I maybe bigger than I want to be but, I have always put my best foot forward. Thank God that foot is now getting smaller and smaller.

The goal for the weekend is to stay focus on the plan...what works. And, not get sidetrack by drama....ghetto drama by someone who communicates at the level of a kindergartener. It is so true that those who have a limited vocabulary resorts to cursing. The person I am speaking of is a prime example of one. OMG! What was I thinking at one point?

The Trouble Is....I'm in a hurry and God is not.....

What a powerful statement. I didn't make this mess of my body over night and it won't be fixed over night. But, the good new is there is a, "Reclamation Project," going on with my mind, soul, and body. It's a new understanding of what I want and what I need in my life. A new direction....a new feeling.

Thank you Lord for a clear understanding of my plight....of my goals. And, thank you for giving me the stamina, the fortitude, and will power to carry out my will and your will in your name.

I remember finding a letter by Mother after she had past. It was a letter she had written to God. I was surprised in a way to know she had such a powerful relationship with him. And, the same time comforted by it because, I knew without a doubt at that moment that she was with the Lord.

Wow. the first time I have spoken about that. I was worried about her relationship for a minute. My Mother left this earth without forgiving a few people. Even after they had reached out to her in her last days. She carried that animosity home with her. I hope she has since let it go. These words are a testimony to me. There are a few things I need to let go. We can't change the past. We can only move forward and forgive those that have trespass against us.